I will probably raise some eyebrows with this post. Maybe piss some people off. It is my opinion and we all can agree to disagree. The following is based on my visual observations over the past 10-15 years or so. What I have noticed while living in Charlottesville and working in Richmond's West End is that suburban white women think they are the shit. Especially white women with children. I know what you're thinking, aren't you married, don't you have a mother & sister? Yes, yes, and yes. However, my wife is not white and my mother & sister are not suburban.
These women drive through the shopping center parking lot in their minivans or big ass SUV's with a purpose. "I am on a mission to get my shopping done no matter how rude I have to be. I am a white woman with a family and money, don't fuck with me." That's what I pretend they are thinking.
Also, they are very upright looking when they come to the store. Always dressed like they are going to a nice restaurant or something like that. Damn, loosen up ladies, it's the fucking Target, not a 5 star hotel. Live a little, wear a t-shirt and jeans or something like that. Not to say that all white women are like this. There are the ones that look like they just got back from Bonnaroo and would shop at Integral Yoga or Earth Fare (if we were so lucky to have one in Charlottesville.) These women are more mellow and smell like patchouli, much more relaxed, even when the kids Moonbeam and Lotus are with them.
I bet you all are wondering why I am writing all this. Well, it has been on my mind for a bit and I thought about sharing. When I was younger, I assumed I would marry a white woman. When I met Wendy, I didn't go looking for someone that was another race, it just happened. But, I am sure glad it did or I probably would be miserable.
Later people.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Complexities of man
Men across time have created great things. Either through physical or intellectual means, the majority of advances we have today were created by men. Before you get yourself worked up that this is a pro-man post, let me go ahead and squash that. I know that women have accomplished remarkable things as well. What will follow will clear this up.
Men have no problem creating, fixing, or taking care of everyday tasks. However, try to get a man to express his true feelings. Silence. That is what will follow when asked a man to share his inner feelings. Why are we like that? Is it in our genetic code that blocks us from expressing ourselves? The answer is no. The most likely answer is society.
Society dictates a lot of what people do or don't do. For a few years, I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced, but I didn't because I thought people may look at me and think, gee, that guy is a weirdo. I finally came to the decision that I am 37 years old and if I want to pierce my eyebrow, then I am going to. I have one life and I don't want to be on the verge of death thinking of the things I wished I had done in my life. Sorry, I got sidetracked...back to feelings and emotions.
For some reason, men are expected to be hard and stoic with no visible signs of emotion. Sometime long ago, well before I was born, this idea was formed. The man was the protector and the woman was the emotional one. We live in a different world today, but these gender ideas still exist. If a man does express what he feels, most likely he is drunk or high and can play it off later.
Then there is the masculinity code red...crying. Never, ever cry in front of someone. This is nonsense. If you feel like crying, then go ahead and let it out. It is not healthy to keep emotions built up in you.
I am guilty of the above, but I am working on it. It is hard to do, but if who the person you are expressing yourself with loves you, then the whole experience becomes a lot easier. Any guys out there reading this, open up to your wife, partner, kids, or whoever. You'll feel better.
Later people.
Men have no problem creating, fixing, or taking care of everyday tasks. However, try to get a man to express his true feelings. Silence. That is what will follow when asked a man to share his inner feelings. Why are we like that? Is it in our genetic code that blocks us from expressing ourselves? The answer is no. The most likely answer is society.
Society dictates a lot of what people do or don't do. For a few years, I wanted to get my eyebrow pierced, but I didn't because I thought people may look at me and think, gee, that guy is a weirdo. I finally came to the decision that I am 37 years old and if I want to pierce my eyebrow, then I am going to. I have one life and I don't want to be on the verge of death thinking of the things I wished I had done in my life. Sorry, I got sidetracked...back to feelings and emotions.
For some reason, men are expected to be hard and stoic with no visible signs of emotion. Sometime long ago, well before I was born, this idea was formed. The man was the protector and the woman was the emotional one. We live in a different world today, but these gender ideas still exist. If a man does express what he feels, most likely he is drunk or high and can play it off later.
Then there is the masculinity code red...crying. Never, ever cry in front of someone. This is nonsense. If you feel like crying, then go ahead and let it out. It is not healthy to keep emotions built up in you.
I am guilty of the above, but I am working on it. It is hard to do, but if who the person you are expressing yourself with loves you, then the whole experience becomes a lot easier. Any guys out there reading this, open up to your wife, partner, kids, or whoever. You'll feel better.
Later people.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
West Virginia
When someone says West Virginia, a majority of people in the US will think of media induced stereotypes...toothless hillbillies, uneducated rednecks, family members fucking each other. Enough of this shit. This is 2011, a time when we should be intelligent enough to stop spreading these tales & images of a backward state.
True, West Virginia has its problems. There are rampant prescription drug issues, higher poverty rates and health issues. I don't think it's the people that are lazy or bad, it's the lack of resources that most of us take for granted. Lack of quality jobs, highways, medical care drive the issues. If the government would stop treating West Virginia like it is worthless and improve the infrastructure, jobs & progress will follow.
In Southern West Virginia there are the Hatfield-McCoy trails for ATV's. Hundreds of miles of trails have been made in Logan, McDowell, Mingo, Wyoming, and soon Mercer counties. These trails have produced entrepreneurs in the hospitality industry. Citizens have remodeled old homes for B&B's, opened restaurants and repair shops all catering to the visitors to the trails. If these people were lazy, would they do this? I don't think so.
There are a number of communities in West Virginia that are rebuilding its economy through tourism. Fayetteville, Tucker County, Greenbrier County to name a few. The people of these areas realize that the predominant industries of the past (logging, chemicals, coal) are largely gone and it is time to step up and make a change.
We as a people need to make a change. Stop treating West Virginia as a punch line in a joke and realize the amazing opportunities that the Mountain State has to offer.
Later people.
True, West Virginia has its problems. There are rampant prescription drug issues, higher poverty rates and health issues. I don't think it's the people that are lazy or bad, it's the lack of resources that most of us take for granted. Lack of quality jobs, highways, medical care drive the issues. If the government would stop treating West Virginia like it is worthless and improve the infrastructure, jobs & progress will follow.
In Southern West Virginia there are the Hatfield-McCoy trails for ATV's. Hundreds of miles of trails have been made in Logan, McDowell, Mingo, Wyoming, and soon Mercer counties. These trails have produced entrepreneurs in the hospitality industry. Citizens have remodeled old homes for B&B's, opened restaurants and repair shops all catering to the visitors to the trails. If these people were lazy, would they do this? I don't think so.
There are a number of communities in West Virginia that are rebuilding its economy through tourism. Fayetteville, Tucker County, Greenbrier County to name a few. The people of these areas realize that the predominant industries of the past (logging, chemicals, coal) are largely gone and it is time to step up and make a change.
We as a people need to make a change. Stop treating West Virginia as a punch line in a joke and realize the amazing opportunities that the Mountain State has to offer.
Later people.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Memories
I have found that my mind is a very powerful tool. Almost too powerful. It amazes me how months or years later I can see, hear, or smell something that will trigger my mind to a place in the past. It is almost like I don't have control over what is happening and I have to pause what I am doing until it passes.
Example one, a strawberry candle. My wife and I were staying at a hotel and she had brought this candle on the trip to give the room a nice smell. The weekend was particularly memorable and fun . Later, we decided to make the candle part of our travel accoutrement. So, every trip since then when we burn that candle, my mind races back to the original memory, triggered by the smell of the strawberry candle.
Example two, the bottle of cologne. In 1993 or 1994, Calvin Klein released a new unisex cologne called ckOne. It seemed to be very popular among the young, college crowd. I remember there being an advertisement in the Cavalier Daily that contained one of those sample strips like one would find in a magazine. I bought a bottle of the cologne in the fall of 1994, my 3rd year at UVA. That fall was a particularly good semester for me...I met my future wife in August 94 and I made several trips to JMU to visit some friends from high school. Always when going out or going to class, I would use my new bottle of cologne. During those few months, the smell must have gotten into my memory and buried itself. I have never bought another bottle of ckOne since then and I rarely smell it on people anymore. However, a few weeks ago when I was driving the bus, someone got on the bus and was wearing ckOne. Well, you know what happened. My mind took over, dug up those memories and I was transported back to the fall of 1994.
Example three, the sights and sounds. There are too many to pick out one or two examples of when a song has taken me back through time or seeing something that does the same. We have all been there, a song comes on the radio that is associated with a memory that you may or may not think was significant. Maybe it is a good memory. Maybe it is bad. Whatever the case, our mind takes over and sends us back to some point in time.
The point I am trying to make with all this rambling is to live and love. We have one life, make the most of it. Do those things you've always wanted to do, try a new restaurant, listen to new music, or whatever has been bubbling in your mind to try. Also, if you are in a relationship, love your spouse, partner, special friend or whoever means the most to you. Enjoy the time you have together. Make memories now so that down the road, that smell, sight or sound makes you remember.
Later people.
Example one, a strawberry candle. My wife and I were staying at a hotel and she had brought this candle on the trip to give the room a nice smell. The weekend was particularly memorable and fun . Later, we decided to make the candle part of our travel accoutrement. So, every trip since then when we burn that candle, my mind races back to the original memory, triggered by the smell of the strawberry candle.
Example two, the bottle of cologne. In 1993 or 1994, Calvin Klein released a new unisex cologne called ckOne. It seemed to be very popular among the young, college crowd. I remember there being an advertisement in the Cavalier Daily that contained one of those sample strips like one would find in a magazine. I bought a bottle of the cologne in the fall of 1994, my 3rd year at UVA. That fall was a particularly good semester for me...I met my future wife in August 94 and I made several trips to JMU to visit some friends from high school. Always when going out or going to class, I would use my new bottle of cologne. During those few months, the smell must have gotten into my memory and buried itself. I have never bought another bottle of ckOne since then and I rarely smell it on people anymore. However, a few weeks ago when I was driving the bus, someone got on the bus and was wearing ckOne. Well, you know what happened. My mind took over, dug up those memories and I was transported back to the fall of 1994.
Example three, the sights and sounds. There are too many to pick out one or two examples of when a song has taken me back through time or seeing something that does the same. We have all been there, a song comes on the radio that is associated with a memory that you may or may not think was significant. Maybe it is a good memory. Maybe it is bad. Whatever the case, our mind takes over and sends us back to some point in time.
The point I am trying to make with all this rambling is to live and love. We have one life, make the most of it. Do those things you've always wanted to do, try a new restaurant, listen to new music, or whatever has been bubbling in your mind to try. Also, if you are in a relationship, love your spouse, partner, special friend or whoever means the most to you. Enjoy the time you have together. Make memories now so that down the road, that smell, sight or sound makes you remember.
Later people.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Is it possible to be too green?
I like green efforts as much as any one else. My wife & I recycle, I drive a PZEV Subaru Outback, I am all for farm to table local stuff. I love forests, national parks and the mountains. However, as a guy that grew up in Southwest Virginia, I have a strong opinion on a "non-green" subject... Coal.
There are numerous groups out there trying to beat down the coal industry. You may see them at political rallies, see commercials on tv or numerous others places. They want to stop coal mining, especially mountain top removal. I understand that coal burns dirty and mountaintop removal can scar the Earth. My question is this, if there's no mining, what are those thousands of people going to do for work?
I challenge any of these college kids, radical environmentalists or anyone who has voiced opposition to coal to travel to the heart of Appalachia. Visit Buchanan County Virginia or McDowell or Wyoming County West Virginia and imagine what these people would do without coal. There is not an abundance of flat land to develop to bring other jobs. I have yet to see any of these groups offer an alternative to provide jobs if there was no mining. I guess they never thought of that. Coal is not just a mineral from the ground. It is the heart & soul of many communities throughout central Appalachia.
I am not some right wing person who believes that environmental issues do not exist or that they are not important. I am as a proud Democrat as you will ever find. I think the three best elected officials are the late Sen. Robert F. Kennedy, the former President Bill Clinton and the former congressman Rick Boucher from the 9th congressional district in Virginia. I do believe that it is possible to be too green when it comes to people's jobs and lives as they know it.
Later people.
There are numerous groups out there trying to beat down the coal industry. You may see them at political rallies, see commercials on tv or numerous others places. They want to stop coal mining, especially mountain top removal. I understand that coal burns dirty and mountaintop removal can scar the Earth. My question is this, if there's no mining, what are those thousands of people going to do for work?
I challenge any of these college kids, radical environmentalists or anyone who has voiced opposition to coal to travel to the heart of Appalachia. Visit Buchanan County Virginia or McDowell or Wyoming County West Virginia and imagine what these people would do without coal. There is not an abundance of flat land to develop to bring other jobs. I have yet to see any of these groups offer an alternative to provide jobs if there was no mining. I guess they never thought of that. Coal is not just a mineral from the ground. It is the heart & soul of many communities throughout central Appalachia.
I am not some right wing person who believes that environmental issues do not exist or that they are not important. I am as a proud Democrat as you will ever find. I think the three best elected officials are the late Sen. Robert F. Kennedy, the former President Bill Clinton and the former congressman Rick Boucher from the 9th congressional district in Virginia. I do believe that it is possible to be too green when it comes to people's jobs and lives as they know it.
Later people.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Televangelist gives odd advice
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/16/pat-robertson-makes-controversial-alzheimers-claims/?hpt=hp_t2
The above link from CNN.com is a story of how Pat Robertson gave a caller to his 700 Club program advice on how to handle his wife who developed Alzheimer's. Pat Robertson is crazy. I have assumed this for a long time, but this is icing on the cake. His predictions of doom and stating he can bench press some huge amount of weight made me wonder about him. This however seals the deal. How can a supposed preacher, a man of God advise a person to divorce their spouse and start over simply because that spouse has Alzheimer's, which to Pat Robertson is "a kind of death"? Crazy. Lunacy. Fucking stupid. And just think, he has that Regent University down in Virginia Beach that is potentially cranking out more people with these types of ideologies. I have no problem with people believing what they want, but do you have to be so vocal & public about it? A same sex couple cannot be happy and marry each other, a woman shouldn't have the right to make choices about her own body, but it is OK for me to ditch my sick wife and start over according to Pat Robertson. Wow, that makes sense to me. Again, fucking stupid.
My opinion for Mr. Robertson and those like him...keep your opinions inside your houses of worship, appeal to the people that you all have brainwashed into thinking that you have been sent here to personally deliver the message of God and let the rest of us have compassion and caring for our fellow humans.
Later people.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Patience
Janet Jackson said she has control and lots of it. I wish I could say the same about my level of patience. I get impatient at traffic, traffic lights, the grocery store check out, fast food drive through lines and I could keep going. Why am I like that? I would love to know what my hurry is. I need to learn how to be more chill. This not only applies to my day-to-day activities but my life in general.
The saying goes "good things come to those that wait." Sometimes I would like to find the person that said that and tell them "fuck you." Since I don't know him or her, I will have to keep that to myself. We as a people seem to want what we want when we want it and get frustrated when we can't have our way. Yelling curses at drivers in traffic or internally cursing the guy in line at Starbucks for ordering the most complicated drink ever and wanting to have his whole bean coffee ground. Am I really in that big of a hurry to get my coffee? Probably not but I like quick service.
These things are rather trivial in the big scheme of my life. However, I seem to want to run this same hurry up offense when making friends. Again, I need to chill. Everyone may not be the type to immediately open up and ready to be my new best bud. That doesn't mean that person isn't interested in being friends, they may have had issues in the past that makes them cautious. I guess it is like test driving a car or trying on some new clothes. You have to get a feel for it to see if you are comfortable. A good friendship takes some time and trust to allow the persons involved to feel comfortable enough to share their fears, goals, shortcomings or whatever else that might feel like an embarrassment. A true friend will not judge or belittle someone for what they might or might not have done in the past.
I know I need to work on this. Some days are better than others but the waiting may keep me from getting burned by the coffee that is too hot.
Later people.
The saying goes "good things come to those that wait." Sometimes I would like to find the person that said that and tell them "fuck you." Since I don't know him or her, I will have to keep that to myself. We as a people seem to want what we want when we want it and get frustrated when we can't have our way. Yelling curses at drivers in traffic or internally cursing the guy in line at Starbucks for ordering the most complicated drink ever and wanting to have his whole bean coffee ground. Am I really in that big of a hurry to get my coffee? Probably not but I like quick service.
These things are rather trivial in the big scheme of my life. However, I seem to want to run this same hurry up offense when making friends. Again, I need to chill. Everyone may not be the type to immediately open up and ready to be my new best bud. That doesn't mean that person isn't interested in being friends, they may have had issues in the past that makes them cautious. I guess it is like test driving a car or trying on some new clothes. You have to get a feel for it to see if you are comfortable. A good friendship takes some time and trust to allow the persons involved to feel comfortable enough to share their fears, goals, shortcomings or whatever else that might feel like an embarrassment. A true friend will not judge or belittle someone for what they might or might not have done in the past.
I know I need to work on this. Some days are better than others but the waiting may keep me from getting burned by the coffee that is too hot.
Later people.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Hell, why not go ahead and try it
Today marks the first Sunday of NFL. I have never been a fan of NFL, but given the spirit of 2011, I think I will give it a try. Since I did not grow up in a city with a team nor do I live in a city with a team, I guess I will randomly pick a team. So, I pick the Baltimore Ravens.
Baltimore is a cool city. The Inner Harbour, Hard Rock, seafood and a kick ass rock station. Seems like good enough reasons to like them. Besides, our Hoos men's lacrosse team won the national championship at M & T Bank Stadium this year.
I have done no research on the Ravens to know if they are good or bad or what the prospect of this season is. I will figure that out along the way. Maybe I can even get to the point of contributing to Monday morning football talk.
I will keep you all updated as the season progresses. As of right now in the 2nd quarter, the Ravens lead the Steelers 14-0. Go Ravens!
Later people.
Baltimore is a cool city. The Inner Harbour, Hard Rock, seafood and a kick ass rock station. Seems like good enough reasons to like them. Besides, our Hoos men's lacrosse team won the national championship at M & T Bank Stadium this year.
I have done no research on the Ravens to know if they are good or bad or what the prospect of this season is. I will figure that out along the way. Maybe I can even get to the point of contributing to Monday morning football talk.
I will keep you all updated as the season progresses. As of right now in the 2nd quarter, the Ravens lead the Steelers 14-0. Go Ravens!
Later people.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Music is the doctor
In 1989, the Doobie Brothers released a song called The Doctor. The chorus says "Music is the doctor, makes you feel like you want to. So, listen to the doctor, just like you ought to. I said music is the doctor of my soul." This is so true for me. Since I was a kid, I have always listened to music with an unusual passion. My parents had a stereo that was encased in wood that had a radio, turntable and 8-track player. I would sit for hours listening to my parents albums, 45's & 8-tracks. As I got older (around 9 years old), I bought my first 45. It was Eddy Grant's Electric Avenue. Later on I bought my first album which was Huey Lewis & the News' Sports. Ever since then, I have been buying music that ranges from one end to another.
I am constantly looking for new music that I am not familiar with. iTunes has been a blessing for me as it is so easy to sample music from the comfort of my computer chair. I can start looking at one artist which will probably lead to some research on Wikipedia which then leads me to something else and so on. Discovering new music is a joy to me. To find a song, album or artist that I didn't previously know about is exciting.
Another highlight of finding new music is the life experience that caused me to find the music. For example, my wife. I grew up in an area that did not have a lot of variety in radio stations. It was mostly pop & country stations. Also, I did not have cable when I was a kid. My source of videos was setting the VCR on Friday nights to record Friday Night Videos on NBC. On Saturday morning, I would get up, fix some cereal and watch the videos. Anyway, my wife grew up in Lynchburg and had greater access to other music sources during her childhood. I am able to learn about some great songs from the 80's from her that I did not know about.
In March 2001, my wife asked if I wanted to go to Durty Nellys here in Charlottesville to listen to a blues band, the Chickenheads. I said sure, so we went to check it out. They played every Thursday night and we went almost every week. After this went on for a while, I bought my first blues CD, a compilation of various artists. I was hooked. I am more of a fan of slow blues than blues-rock. My favourite blues song is The Sky is Crying by Stevie Ray Vaughan. Specifically, the version from his album of the same name. Why you may ask? It is because that version has an organ in it which I will discuss in a later post. Again, a life experience that led me to an unknown type of music that I now cannot imagine not listening to.
New friends. Everyone has different types of music that they enjoy. My wife and I met a new friend earlier this year that is a big fan of metal & rock. I passively listened to metal & rock when I was younger. Motley Crue, Poison, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard were all big during my middle school & high school years. I thought they were okay, but never bought any of their albums. I eventually came to thoroughly get into their stuff as I got older. In recent years, my experiences with rock was classic rock and not so much the newer or modern rock. In the past few months, I have opened up to modern rock and found some very good new music. Godsmack, Seether, Disturbed and others are some of the artists that I have discovered make kick ass, rockin' music. Again, another life experience has led me to this.
The point of all this rambling is that I love music. It helps me to feel good, it helps me when I feel bad. It is a tangible that I can relate to memories, both good and bad. A certain song may take me back to my childhood, my college years, a trip with my wife, or any number of past memories. Music is the doctor of my soul.
Later people.
I am constantly looking for new music that I am not familiar with. iTunes has been a blessing for me as it is so easy to sample music from the comfort of my computer chair. I can start looking at one artist which will probably lead to some research on Wikipedia which then leads me to something else and so on. Discovering new music is a joy to me. To find a song, album or artist that I didn't previously know about is exciting.
Another highlight of finding new music is the life experience that caused me to find the music. For example, my wife. I grew up in an area that did not have a lot of variety in radio stations. It was mostly pop & country stations. Also, I did not have cable when I was a kid. My source of videos was setting the VCR on Friday nights to record Friday Night Videos on NBC. On Saturday morning, I would get up, fix some cereal and watch the videos. Anyway, my wife grew up in Lynchburg and had greater access to other music sources during her childhood. I am able to learn about some great songs from the 80's from her that I did not know about.
In March 2001, my wife asked if I wanted to go to Durty Nellys here in Charlottesville to listen to a blues band, the Chickenheads. I said sure, so we went to check it out. They played every Thursday night and we went almost every week. After this went on for a while, I bought my first blues CD, a compilation of various artists. I was hooked. I am more of a fan of slow blues than blues-rock. My favourite blues song is The Sky is Crying by Stevie Ray Vaughan. Specifically, the version from his album of the same name. Why you may ask? It is because that version has an organ in it which I will discuss in a later post. Again, a life experience that led me to an unknown type of music that I now cannot imagine not listening to.
New friends. Everyone has different types of music that they enjoy. My wife and I met a new friend earlier this year that is a big fan of metal & rock. I passively listened to metal & rock when I was younger. Motley Crue, Poison, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard were all big during my middle school & high school years. I thought they were okay, but never bought any of their albums. I eventually came to thoroughly get into their stuff as I got older. In recent years, my experiences with rock was classic rock and not so much the newer or modern rock. In the past few months, I have opened up to modern rock and found some very good new music. Godsmack, Seether, Disturbed and others are some of the artists that I have discovered make kick ass, rockin' music. Again, another life experience has led me to this.
The point of all this rambling is that I love music. It helps me to feel good, it helps me when I feel bad. It is a tangible that I can relate to memories, both good and bad. A certain song may take me back to my childhood, my college years, a trip with my wife, or any number of past memories. Music is the doctor of my soul.
Later people.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Prostitution
I do not understand why the police waste their time and energy on undercover stings. Are there not more serious things to investigate? Leave the ladies alone and let them make some money. I have never sought out the services of a prostitute nor do I think I would, but they work just like I do. Bravo to them for being that brave to do that work. There are all sorts of evil people out in the world that they might encounter while on the job. I sit in my office building with badge access and security guards to protect me. Maybe they like sex, maybe they need extra money, maybe it is none of our fucking business what turns someone to prostitution. I say do your thing sister and stay safe.
Later people.
Later people.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The beginning
This is my first attempt at writing a blog. I am not sure where it will go or what I will talk about, but I will try to make it interesting. I like music, so maybe I will go there. Maybe I will talk about how much Charlottesville sucks ass. Who knows what I will come up with. Be prepared for anything...music, politics, hate, love, sex (ok, probably not sex. I got a little carried away.)
Later people.
Later people.
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